Volume 2 2010 Chapter 353 Extra: Yi Haoyan’s Birthday
Yi Haoyan doesn't celebrate his birthday very often.
It’s not that I don’t like it, nor do I hate it, nor do I have any special reason.
I just don't care much about these so-called memorable days.
He thought it was nothing special.
It’s not just that I feel my birthday is nothing special, it’s that I feel all holidays are nothing special.
People always use some special reasons to give some special meaning to life, and then use this artificially given meaning to make themselves happy.
To the boy , this seemed a bit self-deceptive.
Of course, this does not stop him from celebrating other people's birthdays and holidays.
Yi Haoyan is a very clear person. He is himself and others are others.
Just because you think something is meaningless doesn't mean others will think the same. There is no need to impose your own ideas on others. That is not a good habit.
significance.
This is a very subjective thing.
Since the depression relapsed again, he had been in a period of severe depression where he was completely unable to think except for the seriousness of the situation.
As long as the situation allowed, the boy kept thinking about one question.
What is the meaning of life? Why am I alive?
He couldn't find the answer.
After being discharged from the hospital, Yi Haoyan, who had regained some thinking ability, resumed his weekly psychological counseling.
Professor Jin also kept telling him that the meaning of life is something that is given by oneself and is subjective.
But Yi Haoyan has never been able to feel this so-called meaning.
In other words, his ability to feel was blocked. All along, the boy mainly faced the world through rational analysis rather than his own feelings.
He never thought there was anything wrong with this. Thanks to his outstanding rationality and logic, his superego was unusually strong and solid, so the boy had extremely high moral standards and self-demands. Also because his superego was too strong, his ego and id were greatly suppressed.
In this case, the boy's behavior will seem stereotyped, and his intrinsic motivation is not "I want to do this" but "I should do this in this situation."
This behavior pattern formed based on mainstream social values makes Yi Haoyan look too cold and unkind .
It's not that he doesn't have it, but that he can't feel it. He can't really feel the friendship between friends, nor the affection between family members. Even the love between him and Enfei, his feelings are not as strong as those of normal people.
There is nothing wrong with these. He likes Kwon Eun-fei, but his feelings are not that strong. This does not affect his usual interactions with girls. Everything is done according to normal standards.
Until we broke up.
This is an "option" that has never existed in Yi Haoyan's behavior pattern.
This behavior was beyond his acceptable range.
So, the system that had been working well collapsed...
For a long time afterwards, Yi Haoyan was in a state of living according to instinct, and during this time, Bae Joo-hyun was always with him.
Although Bae Joo-hyun actually couldn't quite understand the boy's situation, it didn't affect her caring for the boy from the bottom of her heart.
This year, Bae Joo-hyun's life has changed a lot.
Yi Haoyan graduated.
Yi Haoyan and Quan Eunfei broke up.
Yi Haoyan was hospitalized due to a relapse of depression.
Jesscia was kicked out of the group.
He also made his debut.
It's funny to say that Yi Haoyan's breakup and her debut, which have always been the two most important things in the girl's mind, both came true this year.
But Bae Joo-hyun couldn't be happy at all.
Looking at the boy who was once extremely intelligent and eloquent but now looks dull on the hospital bed, the girl would rather neither of her two wishes came true.
To some extent, Bae Joo-hyun also felt some guilt. Was it because of her wish that this pitiful boy became what he is now?
So even though life after his debut was very busy and hard, Bae Joo-hyun insisted on visiting him and accompanying him every day.
Today is his 20th birthday.
Of course there is a celebration, even in the hospital.
A clean room, a clean bed. Joo Hyun had removed her makeup and walked in quietly with a small cake.
He doesn't like cake, so make a small one.
He likes his natural look, so he has to remove his makeup first.
He doesn't like crowds, so after discussing with Sister Enxi, he came alone.
"Haoyan, happy birthday! Today you are twenty years old!"
Bae Joo-hyun called the boy softly.
Since Yi Haoyan was hospitalized, his thinking and perception abilities have been greatly affected, and he has become very slow and forgetful.
But he did not forget Kwon Eun-bi.
Several times, the boy mistook Bae Joo-hyun for Kwon Eun-bi.
This made Zhu Xuan feel very bad.
But the girl remained the same.
She, Bae Joo-hyun, is not the kind of woman who will give up easily after being hurt.
No matter what, she would not leave him alone like Kwon Eun-bi did.
Even if he is like this now.
toughness.
This is the quality that Bae Joo-hyun hides behind her beautiful appearance. It is this quality that has brought her all the way to where she is today.
It was very quiet in the ward.
Yi Haoyan sat by the window, looking at the sunlight outside, absorbed in it, as if that was where he was looking for.
He never did such daydreaming things before. He thought such seemingly meaningless behavior was a waste of time.
But now, he has changed.
Seeing that Yi Haoyan did not reply, Pei Zhuxuan approached the boy cautiously, moving very lightly for fear of scaring him. Just when the woman was about to speak again.
Yi Haoyan turned and looked at her.
There was a familiar light in his eyes.
"Nuna, I'm fine, let's be discharged from the hospital."
