Chapter 137: Similar to Love (6)
Yin Yin felt that she could not refute what that person said, because what that person said was absolutely correct. So far, she was indeed like that. Only when she was with Zhao Ziheng... or should I say, only when she was alone with Zhao Ziheng and Feng Qinghan respectively, she might make a choice, but would it really be like that?
Looking back, Zhao Ziheng's love is too reserved. He always likes to take everything on himself and keeps everything in his heart. However, Feng Qinghan makes people feel warm and it is easy to indulge in his gentleness. One would feel comfortable around him. On the surface, Zhao Ziheng and Feng Qinghan are exactly opposite people, but they do have one thing in common. These two people can also give Yin Yin a sense of security. When she is around them, she will feel the kind of security that will make her fearless no matter what kind of danger she faces, and she would be willing to die together.
Why is this happening? Yinyin only now realized that she had changed a lot just because of Feng Qinghan's appearance, including the fact that she had always believed that she was infatuated with Zhao Ziheng. This discovery made her feel terrified. It turned out that her feelings for Zhao Ziheng were so fragile? She was even about to forget what he looked like, because Zhao Ziheng in this era had a completely different look from that in the 21st century, and so did she. She was not sure if Zhao Ziheng remembered her, but she found that her impression of Zhao Ziheng's face was a little fuzzy. She only remembered the ghost demon who had the same face as him in the 21st century.
I still remember that Zhao Ziheng once said that although her appearance has changed, her heart has not changed. It is the heart of the person he loves. Zhao Ziheng loves her not because of her person, but because of her heart. How did she answer at that time? At that time, she felt that she still loved Zhao Ziheng, wholeheartedly, so she felt that she had not changed... Suddenly, everything about Zhao Ziheng passed through Yinyin's mind like a revolving lantern, and it was still so clear. The stunned expression of Zhao Ziheng during their first kiss in the 21st century overlapped with the expression on the night of their marriage in this era. They were obviously two completely different people, but they overlapped together. So when she knew that Zhao Ziheng was the person she loved, Yinyin never regarded Zhao Ziheng with a brand new look as another person...
Remembering the intimate words Zhao Ziheng said to her in her ear that night, Yinyin felt a warm current flowing into her heart, and that warm current tightly surrounded her broken heart; recalling Zhao Ziheng kissing her eyes and tears, she seemed to realize that everything Zhao Ziheng did seemed to be just for her, he changed for her, willingly gave everything for her, always hid her behind him when facing danger, always so carefully caring for and protecting her...
Yinyin didn't realize how happy her expression was when she thought of everything about Zhao Ziheng. Even with tears streaming down her face, she couldn't hide how happy she was. However, there was a hint of bitterness hidden in her happy expression. It was precisely because of this that the person in front of her was confused and had an indescribable feeling, because she didn't know what Yinyin was thinking, or perhaps because she didn't know what had happened to Yinyin.
Her memory was full of Zhao Ziheng's kindness to her, including when they were being chased in Gray Valley and it was Zhao Ziheng who blocked all the attacks for her. When she was in Fish Island, she also wanted to live with Zhao Ziheng like that, plain but happy. Those days could be said to be the most precious to Yinyin. Since Fish Island, perhaps too many things had happened. She and Zhao Ziheng were always apart more than together, or even never got together. The most profound memory was during the plague in Weicheng. Zhao Ziheng at that time... Yinyin clearly felt the traces of time left on him. He was so depressed and helpless. As for the reason for his helplessness, she had already learned from Wang Ye that in the end it was all because of her. Zhao Ziheng's feelings were so sincere and firm that Yinyin felt even more guilty.
He really never left her. Even if he left, his heart and soul were always by her side... She had never been abandoned, but she had never discovered it. Why did she doubt and abandon him? The words of the person in front of her reminded Yinyin of Lin Wei, the gentle and virtuous person who had the same appearance as herself in the 21st century, and the person who loved Zhao Ziheng deeply. In fact, Yinyin was not so familiar with Lin Wei, but when she first met her, she had already discovered that Lin Wei really loved Zhao Ziheng. Knowing that even after becoming the queen, she still did not get Zhao Ziheng's love, Yinyin felt that her guilt was even heavier.
As the person in front of her said, Yinyin further understood that she was not qualified to be loved by others, especially Zhao Ziheng. Why Zhao Ziheng? The reason is self-evident. He was the one she loved... The first one she fell in love with, and the one she loved with all her heart. Compared with Feng Qinghan, Yinyin seemed to have realized that she really liked the feeling of being with Feng Qinghan, but it was just being together, and she had never thought about spending her life with him. Zhao Ziheng was different. He was the one who made Yinyin feel that she could give up everything to stay with him until old age. She couldn't tell her feelings for Feng Qinghan, but that was not love, but just a feeling similar to love.
Now, Yin Yin finally understood... her love was to be loyal to Zhao Ziheng, and her love for Feng Qinghan was just a kind of love similar to love. But despite this, no matter which kind of love it was, she no longer had the right to possess it. If she saw them again, Yin Yin would tell them everything and no longer drag it down and implicate anyone.
Yin Yin's face was full of tears, and she smiled bitterly and said: "I just love him, but it's not love. My love belongs to only one person from beginning to end, and I have only discovered it now..."
After saying this, Yin Yin seemed relieved, yet extremely sad.
