Chapter 21: Deskmate in the Dream
At this moment, I didn't want to look. I really couldn't look anymore. I hadn't expected her to still like me, to not forget me. But why didn't she come to see me? Oh, she'd never been to our house. I didn't want to bring her there because our house was so run-down. I always had a sense of inferiority, and even after all these years, I still couldn't shake it. My job as a chemist at the crematorium was probably related to this!
During the meal, no one mentioned Bai Jie's matter again. My father had already made up his mind about the matter, and it was useless for others to say anything.
When we were halfway through our meal, Bai Jie came. I was stunned for a moment. I didn’t expect her to come. At this time, she should be at home having dinner with her family.
My second sister-in-law stood up and enthusiastically pulled Bai Jie to eat together.
"No, I have something to ask my master."
Bai Jie and I went to the yard.
"Master, I'm sorry to disturb your meal."
"Don't call me master at home anymore. What's the matter?"
"I dreamed of that girl again. I didn't recognize her. She was still crying. She said I stole you."
I started sweating. It seemed like this was going to be really troublesome.
"It's okay, I'll go find Master Yunzheng tomorrow."
I sent Bai Jie back and she held my hand and said.
"I'm scared."
"It's okay, it's okay."
I also know that it is not normal to have a dream like that all the time. I also know that it is really not normal.
At night I opened Hao Fei's diary. The back part was recorded when we broke up. She was still in love with me until the day before she died. She said she couldn't find me and didn't know where I lived. She even wanted me to carry her on my back and run away like the wind. I didn't know she still loved me. If that was the case...
I can't bear to watch any longer, maybe I'll be shaken.
The grass slowly turned green, but it was a mess at the moment. The one in Bai Jie's dream should be Hao Fei, there was absolutely no mistake about that. Master Yun Zheng said that if I were not a refiner, if I were not a completely yin person, if I did not hold Hao Fei and send him to the furnace, none of this would have happened. That is a ghost, a person who loves you and cannot let you go, who will haunt you after death, or in other words, a certain person.
This makes me confused. Refiners already have to endure so many realistic things, and on top of that, there are so many strange things happening. This is simply unbearable for me. If I had known so many things would happen, would I still come? I don't know.
Bai Jie’s dream made me confused. Is Hao Fei really obsessed with Bai Jie?
I had to go find Master Yunzheng.
The master was drinking. He likes drinking. When I went in and sat down, he asked me to drink with him.
"Master, Bai Jie is haunted by a dream. It's about a girl who said I stole her love."
"Hao Fei, one is to find Hao Fei's urn, and the other is to go see Hao Fei's room."
I looked at the master, thought for a while and said.
I'll go to Hao Fei's house tomorrow and see what's going on.
Actually, I was afraid to go to Hao Fei's home, but I still wanted to go and learn about her situation before she died.
In the evening, I went to Hao Fei's house and finally decided to go up and knocked on the door. It was Hao Fei's father who opened the door. The old man looked at me for a long time and said.
"It's Ke Zuo. I told you not to come again. Fei Fei is gone."
"I need to understand something."
Hao Fei's father flatly refused and closed the door. No one answered him when he knocked again.
I also guessed this result. The other person's daughter is dead , and you go to see her daughter. This is just opening up the scar.
However, at this moment, I must know everything about Hao Fei. Hao Fei's urn was not deposited, and his family took it away directly. So I have to find Hao Fei's urn and everything about Hao Fei's life.
I knocked on the door again. It was already dark. The door opened and Hao Fei's father looked at me and stared at me for several minutes. I was worried and didn't say a word.
"Come in!"
I went in and sat down.
"Have a drink with me. It's been twenty years. No one has ever had a drink with me. It's been twenty years. I've walked here alone."
Hao Fei's father seemed very tired, very tired.
"I know you want to know about Hao Fei's condition. Actually, he's already dead. There's no need to tell me about it. If you're well, she'll be well too."
"How did Hao Fei die?"
"Suicide, depression."
I was stunned. How could this be possible? Hao Fei was happiest when he was in school. I couldn't believe it.
I covered my face. Hao Fei's diary did not write about this.
"Where is Hao Fei's urn?"
Hao Fei's father glanced at me.
"On the west hill of Wulao, under a pine tree, there is a red ribbon tied to the tree."
I didn't ask any further questions. I could see that Hao Fei's father looked very painful.
That day, I stayed with the old man for a drink until midnight before going back.
The next day, I went to Wulao, a remote place in the city, formerly known as Wulaotun.
I borrowed a bicycle from the master and rode there. After an hour and a half, I reached the foot of the mountain.
I climbed up the mountain and saw a pine tree halfway up the mountain. It was tied with a cloth strip, but the color had faded and turned white. However, you could tell that it was red.
I walked over slowly, my heart beating wildly, as if I was meeting Hao Fei again after not seeing him for many years.
It was so desolate. The grave was covered with wormwood and had been washed away by the rain, becoming very small and scattered. I felt sad.
I piled up the dirt with my hands, tears streaming down my face. My mind went back to the time when we were little, when she always protected me, bringing me delicious food, clothes, notebooks, pencils...
I didn't expect that the final result would be like this.
When I returned home that day, it was already dark, and my father had already prepared the meal for me. When I was drinking with my father, he said that Bai Jie had come over, but he didn't say what it was.
That day, I was in a bad mood and went to bed early.
Unexpectedly, I dreamed of Hao Fei. Hao Fei was holding something in her hand. I couldn’t tell what it was. She held it up for me to see, but my eyes seemed unable to open and I couldn’t see clearly. I woke up in shock, covered in cold sweat, and my clothes were soaked.
When I went to the office in the morning, Bai Jie hadn't arrived yet. I didn't know what had happened. It was already past working hours. She had never been late before.
Although I am anxious, I can't leave.
I entered the refining room and lit all the furnaces. I didn't need to go to the morgue to know that there would be many deaths today. There were people everywhere outside.
I lit the stove and sat down to smoke. After a cigarette, I went to the morgue, pushed the deceased in, carried him to the stretcher, and pushed him out.
I'm watching over the four stoves and I'm worried that something might happen to Bai Jie.
It was past nine o'clock when Bai Jie hurried in.
"Don't worry, drink some water and sit for a while."
"Master, I'm late."
"It's okay, I can do it alone."
Bai Jie sat down and drank the whole glass of water, then picked up the chisel.
"You rest."
"I'm sorry, Master, I overslept. I didn't sleep all night and didn't fall asleep until dawn."
I thought, no need to ask, it's Hao Fei again, I don't want to ask, so what can I say? If this matter needs to be resolved, it seems that the master has to come.
Today was also strange. I was busy until around four o'clock in the afternoon and didn't finish. I don't know what day it was, but there were so many deaths .
Bai Jie and I didn't eat lunch, so I took it home after get off work. I knew my father would prepare it well.
On the way, I asked Bai Jie, was there something you wanted to talk to me about yesterday?
"It's okay, I just wanted to see you."
Bai Jie blushed after she said this.
Today I went to Hao Fei's house again. Her father did not refuse me. I brought two bottles of good wine and some dishes.
When I was drinking with Hao Fei's father, I learned that Hao Fei's mother had died. A week after her death, Hao Fei's father was the only one left.
When I entered Hao Fei's room, I was stunned. I was dumbfounded at that time. I immediately knew what Hao Fei was holding in his hand in the dream. It was amber, it was really amber.
“Hao Fei’s room is full of amber, and the most common items are necklaces,” said Hao Fei’s father, standing behind me.
She has been making this since she graduated. There are over 400 necklaces, all for men. I know she made them for you.
“But why didn’t she look for me?”
"She looked for you but couldn't find you. She said you moved. This city is so big, so small, and she still hasn't found you."
My family did move. We moved after my father died. My mother took me with her and moved to a place where no one knew my father was a refiner. However, someone eventually found out. We really didn't tell anyone where we went.
I took off an amber necklace hanging on the wall; it was so delicate.
"They are all polished by hand. She has been doing this all the time. Then she came to you."
I shook my head.
"She said that these necklaces were made for you. She told me before she died that she would give them all to you if she found you. But I miss Feifei and can't bear to part with them. You can take them all today!"
When she was in elementary school, we would still burn the stove. There was coal yellow in the coal that was delivered, which we called coal yellow. She would pick it up, and sometimes her little hands and face would become very black. I didn't know why she was obsessed with this, and some classmates laughed at her. That day I threw away a palm-sized piece of coal yellow that she picked up, and she cried.
I didn't expect her to cry at that time, and I was stupid and ran away.
"Take it!"
"No, that's yours."
"If Feifei dies, I'll have nothing."
When I came out of Hao Fei's house that day, I was so confused that I didn't know what to do.
Until now I still don’t understand what Hao Fei was going to do with all this coal yellow.
I went to the crematorium and saw the master. I told him what I knew and he looked at me.
"Wait until I'm done."
"I'll do it."
The master returned to the office. Yihe and I were working, and he asked me.
"Why doesn't Master Yunzheng accept me as his apprentice?"
"I don't know. Didn't you ask him?"
"I knelt down before him, but it didn't work. I went to the director, but that didn't work either. I really don't understand."
I also can't understand why the master did this.
After finishing the work, the master asked me to take him to the west mountain of Wulao to see Hao Fei's grave.
"This grave hasn't been visited for years, and it's not a good place to be. Hao Fei is blaming you."
"What should we do then?"
"Talk to her father about moving the grave."
"Where to move to?"
"You go and discuss it, I'll ask a Feng Shui master to choose a place."
I went to Hao Fei's home and told her father about the grave relocation. Her father was stunned for a long time.
"Yes, yes, I'm not in good health and can't climb the mountain anymore. I haven't visited Feifei for many years. She's so lonely. I'm sorry, you can move the grave, but I have to go with her. This means she's moving to a better place. I have to know where Feifei has moved to."
What Hao Fei's father said made me feel creepy. The master told me that both the Yin house and the Yang house are equally important. If the house is not chosen well, many problems will arise. As for what the problems are, the master did not tell me.
I went to my master's house, and my master was at home.
Hao Fei's father agreed, but asked to follow.
Of course, it wouldn't make sense for her relatives not to follow.
"when?"
"Tomorrow, let Yi He and Bai Jie work together."
I nodded.
