Chapter 146: Hate Because of Love (3)
Fear quickly took over Han Ji's heart. She had never felt such fear before, but she couldn't tell the reason. She could only stare at Zhou Yan blankly without saying a word. Zhou Yan was indeed looking at Han Ji, but his eyes were not fixed on her. Han Ji didn't know where his eyes were looking, but she clearly felt that Zhou Yan seemed to have made some decision, and this decision might very likely threaten his life.
Finally unable to bear the fear in her heart, Han Ji's trembling voice rang out, with sorrow and anxiety in her eyes: "You...what happened? Did something happen to her again?"
Zhou Yan was awakened by this voice, and his focus returned to Han Ji. He put down his hand that was caressing her face, and his expression remained calm. He didn't have to answer this question, but he still answered it, and it was the truth: "She remembered, everything."
In an instant, Han Ji's memory went back to the day when she met Yin Yin. She had known that Yin Yin had recovered her memory, but judging from her reaction at that time, it was better to lose it than to recover it, because the indifference that Yin Yin showed at that time was still fresh in her memory, and she even remembered every word and sentence at that time clearly; since Zhou Yan already knew, he must have subconsciously guessed Yin Yin's heart, and must have thought that she hated him? In fact, Yin Yin said that she didn't hate anyone at that time, but Han Ji believed that this was not her true words, and even if she was sincere, she should n't have that attitude. Han Ji still didn't quite understand what happened to Yin Yin, but she believed that Yin Yin's thoughts would determine everything.
Speaking of which, Han Ji didn't know how Yinyin fell into Huanling's hands, and she couldn't imagine it. The most important thing was what Yinyin's attitude was now, and what did she think of Zhou Yan? Did she no longer hate him as she had said to herself? Or did something else happen? Han Ji thought of Yinyin's reaction before they separated. From the situation at that time, Yinyin's heart was erratic. Rather than being erratic, it was better to say that she had lost the support of her heart. Has she found it back now? If she has found it back, then she will definitely choose the person in her heart. What should Zhou Yan do? Han Ji could almost imagine that even if Zhou Yan compromised with Huanling for her, she was very sure that he would save Yinyin. If Yinyin's heart was only for that person at that time, what would Zhou Yan's reaction be? Han Ji couldn't imagine it, but she could guess that he would not give up easily.
After thinking it over and over again, she finally realized that Zhou Yan would not give up Yin Yin. Even if he compromised temporarily, it did not mean that he would always do so. To put it another way, even if she did not want to admit it, Zhou Yan would probably give up on her in the end. Thinking of this, Han Ji could not help but smile bitterly. She knew that in Zhou Yan's heart, she would never be as important as Yin Yin. If she could only choose one, she was not sure whether Zhou Yan would give up on her, but she was sure that Zhou Yan would not give up on Yin Yin. With such a comparison, what else was there to say? No, nothing was needed.
"She hates me, you hate me, and that child will too in the future. I deserve this..." A bitter smile appeared on Zhou Yan's lips. There was a barely perceptible fatigue in the smile, and his drooped eyelids were full of loss and sadness.
It's not that she hasn't seen Zhou Yan's lost look, but when she sees Zhou Yan at this moment, Han Ji still feels a pang of pain in her heart. She knows that Zhou Yan's expression will never be revealed to her. Although she has known it for a long time, she still feels heartbroken; Han Ji has reminded herself more than once not to expect things that she can't get, but every time she faces it, she still feels heartbroken. This is inevitable. Her husband and her lover only have another person in their hearts, so what is she? What if she feels heartbroken? He will never care, nor will he notice. She doesn't want to be jealous like other people. Obviously, there has never been such a relationship between her and Zhou Yan from the beginning. She knows better than anyone that it is impossible for her and Zhou Yan to be together, so she has no qualifications, no reason, and even no right. It's as if she has been just an outsider from the beginning to the end. What kind of position should she take to be jealous?
Seeing Zhou Yan's dejected look, Han Ji couldn't help but feel heartbroken. She wanted to comfort him, but she found that she had no words to say. If she wanted to remain silent...
After struggling with her inner self for a long time, Han Ji finally spoke: "Why are you so sure that she only hates you?"
Han Ji's words made Zhou Yan slowly raise his head. He gave her a puzzled and doubtful look, obviously not knowing what the implication of Han Ji's words was.
"Hate is often born out of love. If it were not for love, there would be no hate. The deeper the hatred, the deeper the love. Because of love, there is hate." Han Ji felt that her heart was about to break when she said these words. What she said was completely unfounded, at least for Yin Yin. She didn't know whether Yin Yin had ever loved, but Han Ji knew herself not that she had never hated, but when she discovered it, she realized that it was because of love. Because she fell in love, she hated.
Han Ji didn't know if what she said was right, but she wanted to say it anyway, to inject new vitality into Zhou Yan at that time, because she really couldn't bear to see Zhou Yan's lost and decadent appearance, which was contrary to the Zhou Yan in her mind. In her mind, Zhou Yan had always been unteachable, arrogant, and overbearing. Even so, he was the person she loved deeply.
