Chapter 146: Hate Because of Love (4)
Zhou Yan didn't quite understand Han Ji's words, but what he understood was that love can only lead to hate. If he thought from another perspective, did it mean that Yin Yin had also loved him? So Zhou Yan's heart was warmed, and he was more moved. He kept repeating the same thought in his mind, that is: Yin Yin loved him.
Looking at Zhou Yan's inner struggle, wanting to believe but not daring to believe it, Han Ji felt her heart bleeding.
For a long time, the two of them remained silent. Zhou Yan was silent because he had not yet recovered from his previous emotions, while Han Ji's silence was very simple, and it was still the same heartbreaking reason.
After a long period of silence and calmness, Zhou Yan seemed to have found himself again and came back to his senses from Han Ji's words. He slowly raised his head and looked at the person in front of him who could not hide her sadness in her eyes. He felt pity in his heart and reached out to touch her face again. He didn't know if it was an illusion, but the temperature seemed a little low.
"You too?" Zhou Yan looked directly into Han Ji's eyes and asked calmly.
Han Ji knew exactly what Zhou Yan was asking. This was what she had always wanted to tell him, but she found that the sound was stuck in her throat and she couldn't utter a single byte.
However, Zhou Yan did not give up. He repeated: "Tell me, are you like this too?"
If Zhou Yan still knew nothing about Han Ji's feelings, he would be deceiving himself, but he still felt that he should hear Han Ji say it herself, especially after she said those words; in fact, when Han Ji said those words, he knew it very well, and it is undeniable that if she had not experienced it personally, how could she say those words?
Originally, Han Ji didn't intend to say it, at least she didn't want to say it at this time. But when she saw Zhou Yan's eyes that seemed to go straight into her heart, she couldn't control herself after all. As her tears burst out, she completely revealed the feelings that had been hidden in her heart for a long time, frankly without any disguise.
"Yes, because I love you, that's why I hate you."
Zhou Yan didn't know before that confession can make people so sad. When these words came out of Han Ji's mouth, Zhou Yan saw not love, but sadness, a kind of sadness that is hard to describe. Is it because the one he loves is not a person? Maybe it is. The harm he brought to her cannot be summarized in a few words. He has never given her happiness and joy, only endless pain and torture. Why is there only sadness? Shouldn't he hate her? Zhou Yan realized that he saw only sadness in Han Ji's eyes, without a trace of hatred, which was different from the red and naked hatred in Yin Yin's eyes when she looked at him before. Compared with Han Ji's hatred, is it only verbal?
Zhou Yan was not surprised at all by Han Ji's hatred. He was just surprised to see that Han Ji's eyes did not show hatred. Was it just an illusion? No, it was definitely not an illusion. That hatred was exactly the same as Yin Yin's hatred towards him. Even if it was acting, it would never be so real. So, Han Ji still hated him, right? Yes, it didn't matter .
When Zhou Yan thought that Han Ji's words were just that one sentence, Han Ji's voice sounded again: "I hate that you always pursue the so-called happiness in your own way, hate that you always only consider yourself and ignore others, hate that you are always indecisive and bury your pain in your heart, hate that you are always infatuated with her but torture her to death, do you really love her? If you love her, why do you torture her like that? If you didn't make her so painful, she wouldn't hate you, absolutely not. She is not as fragile as you think, she can distinguish what she wants or doesn't want, but what you did pushed her into the abyss of darkness, making her lost and painful, why can't she hate you? Why should I love you? Why should I love you, a person who only cares about yourself and is selfish and only has yourself in his eyes?"
Han Ji's words were like waves that beat on Zhou Yan's heart. This was the second time, the second time Zhou Yan saw Han Ji roaring as if venting. He had never thought that someone so skilled, so gentle and considerate would have such a fierce side. However, facts have proved time and again that even the most docile beasts can have a violent side, and the same is true for people. When emotions accumulate to a certain level and reach the spiritual point, they will always explode. If you don't vent them, then it can only be said that this person is on the verge of collapse. Only by venting them can it be said that this person is a normal person and has human emotions.
Many people say that jealousy is the ugly side of human nature, but in fact, it is not the case. Everyone has jealousy, but it is not necessarily ugly. For example, Han Ji, although she is jealous, she never fights for it by abnormal means, and never expects what she can't get. Perhaps Han Ji is cowardly in the eyes of many people. Only she knows that some things will not be hers even if she fights for them. So why should she involve more people? Moreover, although she is in pain, there are people who are more painful than her, such as Zhou Yan and Yin Yin. Therefore, the pain is not always only for yourself, but also for others. Don't be selfish and only consider your own feelings without caring about how others feel.
Zhou Yan did not feel angry when he heard Han Ji's venting, but instead felt guilty. The more intense Han Ji's reaction was, the more it showed the pain in her heart, so Zhou Yan would not blame her, let alone blame her, because he knew very well how much he owed Han Ji.
